State Senator John Cauthorn, R-Mexico, this week bestowed a Golden Goose Egg to the Department of Mental Health's Division of Alcohol and Drug Abuse for displaying an uncannily consistent inability to reconcile records within a traffic safety program it oversees, resulting in thousands of dollars owed to the state by traffic offenders left unpaid for now, and perhaps forever.

The division's clouded oversight of "SATOP" (substance abuse traffic offenders program) is described in wincing detail in an eye-popping report running to more than 15 tightly spaced pages published by the state auditor. The audit cites that offender "screening," or intake, information isn't reconciled with fee payment information a necessary and seemingly obvious step to ensure the state receives all money due.

"Imagine it being kind of like not balancing your checkbook against the bank statement," Cauthorn noted. "Now imagine your state tax dollars being managed the same way…"

A sample polling found some 3,867 offenders had potentially not paid the fees requisite with being in SATOP to get their drivers licenses back. Reviewing 60 cases in more detail revealed 26 instances over 40 percent where the required fees had not been paid to the state. According to division personnel, one SATOP office had not remitted over $40,000 in fees between July of 1999 and July of 2001.

"Hey, that's just one office, too," Cauthorn noted. "I think all … well, most people realize we're in a budget crisis, and while $40,000 won't take us from red to black, you bridge a deficit of millions by beginning with a dollar."

The spectacular failure to track, collect and forward fees from SATOP enrollees is perhaps one of the more noteworthy, but hardly the only, area of deficiency found in the program's (mis)management plan.

"If you were to put a total price tag on this entire asleep-at-the-wheel package, you'd slam on the brakes before hurtling over the cliff," Cauthorn said. "I hope the audit and this magical Golden Goose Egg are enough warning signs for division heads to begin heading down the long road of corrective action.

Inspired by a program once used by a U.S. Senator to highlight confidence-deflating instances of governmental mismanagement, Cauthorn began handing out Golden Goose Eggs earlier this year. The state treasurer's and administration offices are two awardees recently inducted into the fiscal hall of shame.

"This isn't meant to be spiteful or even all that funny, really it's an effective way to call attention to some of the more glaring missteps found in state government," Cauthorn, chairman of the Senate's Governmental Accountability and Fiscal Oversight Committee, remarked. "And the way things are going, we're going to need another Golden Goose to keep up with the egg demand."